Time Out For Women

Friday night and Saturday I attended Time Out For Women in Salt Lake City.  It was amazing.  This was the fifth one I have been to and they are incredible.  This year I loved every talk that was given.  No sleeping for me, which I have been known to do during meetings.  If you have never been to one they are so worth it.  Check out their website here.  This year I did something different and went with a large group of sisters from my family ward.  I'm usually not a big group person.  It was fun, interesting and at times a little claustrophobic.  Since I have not been attending the family ward for over three years I felt a little like an outsider but it was good for me to get reacquainted because we will probably soon be back in this ward.

The messages seem to be getting deeper and more concerned with our spiritual strength.  Times are here when we are not going to be able to depend on others testimonies, we each need to be firmly grounded ourselves to withstand the trials ahead.  I also loved how they strive to help us realize we each have a different path to follow and we need to find the path we are supposed to be taking and pursue it.  This is not a time for mediocrity and idleness.  Trusting in the Lord to help us enjoy and endure His plan is sometimes overwhelming.

Here are a few of my favorite thoughts from the conference:



 Jesus came to earth to be our Savior, but He also came to be our Redeemer.  It's not just about His ability to save but also about His ability to transform.  -----  Brad Wilcox

Speaking of a bridge climb in Sydney, Austrailia and the view that is exquisite at the top:  If you want to see the spectacular view you have to make the climb.  In life if we want to see what it feels like to be closer to our Heavenly Father we also have to make the climb.  To make the bridge climb people are tethered to the bridge for safety.  In our life we need to be tethered to Jesus to not fall.  -------  Sheri Dew

Eve in the Garden of Eden taught us that it is better to "pass through sorrow that we may know"even at the expense of difficult things.  The key here being 'pass through'.  Whatever trial we are experiencing at the time we are passing through it, there is an end to it.  We will not be experiencing it forever.  Every night at sunset we can know that we are one day closer to being through it or to the end of it.  He spoke of the death of his wife and every night at sunset he knew he was one day closer to being reunited with her.
--------Michael Wilcox

Learn to think of yourself as a person.  How would you treat a friend that was staying with you.  You need to take as good of care of yourself as you would your visitor.  Your children deserve a mother who is a person.  ------------  Emily Watts

Stop worrying about your weaknesses and worry more about your strengths.  We will become much more happy as we work to develop our strengths.  What are new and creative ways to use your strengths to help others?  Do not wait for the Lord to save us from our circumstances instead ask Him to give us strength to learn from them and find joy in them.  ------------    Wendy Ulrich

We need to Pray with Faith, Think with Faith, and Live with Faith.  We are all exactly where the Lord knew we would be.  We might be surprised with where life has taken us but He is not.  Just as Joseph of the Old Testament did (Genesis 37,39-40), we need to embrace and make the best of where ever we are.  "Don't you dare be the one thing that stands in your way."   ------------    Laurel Christensen

Today I am thankful for the opportunities that we have to listen to inspirational and spiritual speakers who can help us become the best that we can be.  With todays technology there are so many places we can listen to addresses that will help us be stronger each day, even if you can't physically attend conferences like this one.  We are so blessed to have so much available to us on our computers, smartphones, iPods, and even KBYU on our televisions.


                                              Amy told me I need more pictures in my blog!!
                                                               Notes from the TOFW.

  

The Theme of This Years TOFW --Choose To Become--

Pizza, Princesses and Turkeys

Yesterday we had a Grandma's Day.  Amy and Carly brought their beautiful little girls to our home for lunch and activities.  Amy picked up Papa Murphy's pizza on her way and we put them in the oven to bake. My beautiful granddaughters and their beautiful mothers all gathered around the table to visit and eat.  Once lunch was over Blake and Lucy were transformed into exquisite princesses.  Thanks to Costco for having a darling trunk filled with not one, not two, but three princess dresses!!  (A great purchase if you want to be the FUN Grandma, which is my goal)  The girls twirled, danced and giggled until they both toppled over.  What a wonderful sight to see them getting along.  When they finished dancing our little princesses sat up to the counter and made darling magnet turkeys to put on their fridges.  (Of course I forgot to take a picture of the turkeys because I am such a novice at blogging)  It was an incredible afternoon with very few preparations.  I need to remember to "Keep it Simple' so it is not so daunting to spend time together making memories.  I had sent turkey packets to Oklahoma so Cody and Macey could also make these cute turkeys.  As soon as we finished with our turkeys, Carrie called and mentioned that they had received their package that day and they had just finished making their turkeys.  How fun to think we made the turkeys the same day at the same time, but oh how missed they were at Grandma's house.
 I am so thankful for seven healthy and strong grandchildren.  How wonderful they make me feel because they seem to love me so much  They are certainly my reward for all the years of parenting.

                                                       Princess Lucy and Princess Blake

Understanding Who You are

Davis High's production of Fiddler On The Roof is charming.  Jessi and I went last night and it was a long but very delightful evening.  I'm amazed at the quality of performances from high school students.  The setting of the stage was amazing.  Tevye, the star of the show, was perfectly cast.  I felt as he was an older man not just a senior in high school.  His emotion was phenomenal.  In the beginning of the play there is a quote by Tevye that should resonate as much truth now as it did then.  Tevye was speaking of his beloved town Anetevaka:  "In Anetevka, everyone knows who he is and what God expects him to do."  Unfortunately for Tevye and Golde they had children who opposed the teachings of their parents and made choices contrary to them just as many of us do today.  But they had been taught.  As I have gotten older I have realized that until anyone truly embraces the truth of who they are, A Child of God, they have a difficult time making positive choices and following the path that would lead them to happiness.  If we really understand 'who we are' then it is not as difficult to dress modestly, speak differently, and lead clean and virtuous lives.   As the world becomes more and more corrupt it becomes more urgent for us to instill that knowledge of divinity in ourselves and in our children.  We all need extra strength to withstand thoughts and ideas that would pull us down to a much lower level than what 'we know God expects of us..'  In Jessi's bedroom covering one entire wall, we put vinyl  letters that say "I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him."  My hopes were when we placed that there that if she read everyday who she was and that God did love her that it would help guide her decisions in all aspects of her life.   I know many times I need to stop and remember who I am and it gives me strength to stand firm in what I believe and not be embarrassed by decisions I know He expects me to make.  Today I am so grateful that I do know that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who loves me and I love Him.  May I always have the strength to do what He expects me to do.

Mary

Today my step mom, Mary, celebrated her 87th birthday.  She is in spending the winter in Arizona so we did not see her but my thoughts have been of her and how thankful I am that she has been a part of my life.  Our family was incredibly fortunate when my dad remarried because he married the second most wonderful woman in the world.  (My mom was obviously the first)  She is an incredible example to me of how I want to pattern my life.  Mary's first husband had died nine years before she met my father.  Dad and Mary were only married six years before my dad passed away, but the memories they made in those years were remarkable.  I've heard her say often, "Darwin and I had so much fun!"  During the six years she endeared herself to me and my family.  She loves to play games of all kinds, even now she occasionally plays tennis.  Her home is always welcoming and clean.  One of my favorite things about Mary is that she is so accepting and non judgmental.  I remember when we were blessing Jessi I had bought a new dress and I was feeling guilty because money was very tight.  I mentioned it to Mary and she quickly responded "Every new mother needs a new dress".  Immediately I felt better and was proud to wear it.  She was a great replacement for a grandma for our kids.  She loved them as if they were her own.  Mary loves life, never misses an opportunity to experience new things, and always has a home remedy for whatever ailment you might have.  Unfortunate for us, but fortunate for Mary she remarried nine months after my dad passed away.  She had no desire to be alone again.  Because she has seven children of her own and David, her present husband, has six she is busy with those families and we don't get to see her often.  We still keep in touch and have lunch occasionally.  At times it is difficult when I do see her because my heart aches for a mom.  She filled a void in my life when I needed it the most.  Thank you Mary for being the best second mom in the world.

Books, Books, and More Books

As I have taken some time this month to ponder what I am truly thankful for I feel my gratitude list has changed over the years.  So many items on my list are no longer possessions, but more along the lines of thoughts, gifts of the spirit or friendships.  It is amazing that as I grow older worldly goods mean less and less and are almost bothersome to me because I have to store them or take care of them.  One possession though that I love and will always love are books.  How nerdy is that?  Whenever  I answer the question, If you had an afternoon to do anything you wanted what would you do?  My answer would always be READ.  I have been cleaning my bedroom tonight and I have two stacks of books each about 3 feet high by my bed.  These are books I still need to read.  It is almost an obsession to buy books.  It is very rare that I can check out at Costco without buying at least one book.  Amazon is my favorite web site and Deseret Book is my favorite store.  The ironic thing about my stacks of books by my bed is that Jeff bought me a Kindle last year for Christmas because we have no where to put anymore books.  It is full of books also.  I love my books and am so grateful for the ability to read.
This morning I finished an incredible book I would like to share with you.  It is A Return to Virtue by Elaine Dalton.  Wow, It is incredible and inspiring.  During the past few years in our singles wards we have focused much on Virtue, and I have had the opportunity to teach about it and speak on it often.  I have studied many of Sis Daltons talks extensively and she certainly has a personal mission to return the world to virtue.  Because of our service at the University of Utah wards, we have personally met her a few times.  Jeff actually has spent time in her office and she presented him a gold tie because of his work with the Virtue Value.  This book is a MUST read for any woman or man.  It can change your life for the better.  The back cover  has this quote printed on it.
"I truly believe that one virtuous woman or man, led by the Spirit, can change the world!  We need to stand for virtue in a world that is so rapidly departing from it."
--------Elaine S. Dalton

                                                                  Jeff with Sis Dalton

My Young Adult Friends

Tonight I want to write a quick post and mention how thankful I am for all of my 'young adult' friends!! We have served in 4 different Young Adult  Wards in the past 3 1/2 years, which means that we have known probably 1000 young adults.  So many of these incredible young people have become some of my dearest and closest friends.  What remarkable individuals they are.  My respect and admiration for them is so great.   I love it when I get visits, emails, comments on my blog, phone calls and lunch and dinner invitations from many of them.  It makes my heart so happy.  I love each of them and want to continue our friendships forever.  Thank you for including me in your lives.

A Gift From My Mom

Our youngest daughter Jessi continually asks me when I am going to blog about her. She often refers to herself as the "favorite child". I can honestly say that she is one of the top five of my favorite children!! (Mother's don't have favorites) So Jessi, this blog is for you.
Twenty years ago this past July my mother passed away. We had four children, three sons and a daughter, and we were so comfortable knowing our family was complete. Not long after mom's passing I kept having the distinct impression that my mother had a baby for me. I felt I was through having children, freedom from having a child at home during the day was so close, and so I ignored the thought for quite some time. I do recall asking my sister that IF mom had a baby for me she would certainly send a girl wouldn't she? The impressions would not stop and so with great reluctance I finally consented to have another baby. We had no maternity insurance because being self employed our insurance was questionable anyway and the waiting period they required was so long that I couldn't wait since I was already 36. We had donated all of our baby items to others so we had nothing. I felt like a young college student having a baby once again.
Yes my mom did have a little girl saved for me and yes it was Jessi! How grateful I have been everyday since then that I listened and followed those promptings. She has been my Balm of Gilead through many years and trials. When life would feel so out of control with the many incredibly poor decisions that Kevin was making and I felt like I wanted to runaway and leave everything behind, I would think-- wait I can't runaway I have Jessi I need to stay and be responsible. She would pull me back to reality and cheer me as I would realize I wanted to be a good mom for her. The thought has occurred to me that my Heavenly Father and my own mother knew 20 years ago that I would need Jessi's love and support now as I went through these trials so they planned a reason for me to stay strong. Jessi and I have spent so much time together. Jeff spends so much time with being Bishop of the singles ward that it is just she and I so much of the time. When I have wanted to travel it was easier to take Jess with me than to find someone to care for her, so we have traveled together extensively. She has seen the pain we have suffered with Kevin and has become strong in her testimony and desire to choose the right. She is outgoing and friendly to all, a beautiful breath of fresh air. Today I am thankful for Jessi and also I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows all and prepares a way for us to meet the challenges that we face.

Temple Blessings

While Jeff has been serving as Bishop in the singles wards he has asked me to teach Temple Prep to many of the couples who are being married in the temple and also to many wonderful sisters who have chosen to take this step forward of going to the temple. What an incredible experience it has been. I love the temple and I love teaching, especially one on one or close to it, so it has been ideal. The great thing is I have lost count on how many there have been because it has been so numerous, but it shows that many women of this generation are making awesome decisions. There are six lessons in the manual and one of them is about the Blessings of the Temple. The blessings are numerous and sometimes vary from individual to individual, but so many are promised to all of us in D&C 109 and also by Modern Day Prophets. The blessing that means the most to me is the eternal sealing of families. There is an additional benefit of this sealing which has been taught to us and deals with promises given parents of wayward children. I wanted to share these quotes with those who need them now or may someday need them. Today I am grateful for Temple Blessings.


Joseph Smith (1805–44) First President of the Church
The Prophet Joseph Smith declared—and he never taught a more comforting doctrine—that the eternal sealings of faithful parents and the divine promises made to them for valiant service in the Cause of Truth, would save not only themselves, but likewise their posterity. Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold. Either in this life or the life to come, they will return. They will have to pay their debt to justice; they will suffer for their sins; and may tread a thorny path; but if it leads them at last, like the penitent Prodigal, to a loving and forgiving father’s heart and home, the painful experience will not have been in vain. Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God” (Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, 110).

Brigham Young (1801–77) Second President of the Church
“Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang” (quoted in Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, comp. Bruce R. McConkie, 3 vols. [1954–56], 2:90–91).

Lorenzo Snow (1814–1901) Fifth President of the Church
“If you succeed in passing through these trials and afflictions and receive a resurrection, you will, by the power of the Priesthood, work and labor, as the Son of God has, until you get all your sons and daughters in the path of exaltation and glory. This is just as sure as that the sun rose this morning over yonder mountains. Therefore, mourn not because all your sons and daughters do not follow in the path that you have marked out to them, or give heed to your counsels. Inasmuch as we succeed in securing eternal glory, and stand as saviors, and as kings and priests to our God, we will save our posterity” (in Collected Discourses, comp. Brian H. Stuy, 5 vols. [1987–92], 3:364).

Boyd K. Packer
Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
“The measure of our success as parents … will not rest solely on how our children turn out. That judgment would be just only if we could raise our families in a perfectly moral environment, and that now is not possible.
“It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters. They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should.
“It is my conviction that those wicked influences one day will be overruled. …
“We cannot overemphasize the value of temple marriage, the binding ties of the sealing ordinance, and the standards of worthiness required of them. When parents keep the covenants they have made at the altar of the temple, their children will be forever bound to them” (“Our Moral Environment,” Ensign, May 1992, 68).

A House of Order? Maybe Someday

In my quest to get my home in order I decided today to tackle the kitchen. Huge undertaking. I won't even mention how long it has been since I have cleaned out all my cupboards and drawers. The amount of dust, crumbs, and gunk I have cleaned today could be a serious health issue in our lives. Cleaning has never really been my thing, but it is always so rejuvenating to open a clean cupboard or drawer. I should definitely do it more often. In D&C 109:8 we are taught to organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing, and establish...a house of order. That is my goal and at times it seems so far beyond my reach. If I was isolated by myself with no interruptions for a week I would make incredible progress, but since that is not my life nor do I see it happening in the near future I will continue prodding along until I have dejunked and shined all of it. And then--it will be time to start over. Oh Well. Today I am incredibly thankful for my home. After several remodelings I love it. I love the feel, the layout and especially the spirit that is here. It is small but it is ours!!

Parents Empowered?

Several years ago our local grocery store had their sacks printed with a logo that said something about the family that ate dinner together would not have children who drank alcohol or something to that effect. The timing for me was terrible to be getting these sacks because I thought we have had family dinner almost every night, we always required our kids to be home for it, and we had a son who drank and more. How dare they put that on my sacks!
Still today as I watch the parents empowered commercials or see their billboards I have to smile that yes I was involved, I did most of the items they recommend and I still had a son who rebelled. For years I struggled over the thought that I must of failed somewhere. We had Family Home Evening, family scripture study and family prayer most of the time. Maybe if we would of never missed Kevin wouldn't of taken that path. Isn't that what we are promised? As I would encounter families who had all 12(?) of their children serve missions and marry in the temple, I would wonder what did I do wrong? Stories were told about parents of wayward children praying and fasting and miraculously their children straightened up their lives. Why weren't my prayers being answered? Slowly and surely I have learned the true meaning of Agency. I thought I understood it, but not until now have I truly embraced it. Yes our chances are increased to have all of our children follow our teachings if we are involved in their lives, eat dinner together, read scriptures and pray as a family, BUT we all have to choose for ourselves. We fought for that right in the preexistence and we have to respect that right here. Heavenly Father has to recognize our agency so he cannot force His will on us either. Sometimes I just have to hate agency. Then I realize what an incredible gift it is. Tonight I am thankful for agency. How grateful I am that I can choose my path for myself. How healing it is to know that I taught my children the right way to live and now it is their time to choose. They know what is right and wrong. I don't have to feel guilty. I made mistakes, numerous of them, but I did the best I could. For those of you who have all your children following the gospel path, I commend you. For those of you who join me and do not, I pray for you and hope that you can realize that each and every one of us has the right to choose. No matter how faithful anyone is they cannot remove or reduce someone else's agency. They are not choosing a contrary path because of something you did or did not do. Understanding agency is a gift, it was part of the plan, a necessary part. Embrace it.