Thoughts for Parents of Young Children

We have had the incredible privilege of spending a great deal of time with our grandchildren in the past month.  As I have watched and listened to my kids and spouses as they have been caring for these awesome grandkids it has brought back many thoughts and memories of when our children were young.

This week we went to my sister's cabin with Amy and her two children.  Callie reminded me so much of Jessi when I use to bring her to the same cabin. It was almost haunting to watch her.  I felt like I was reliving my life,  Oh how difficult it is to have a one year old toddler around the hot wood burning stove inside and all of the dirt, rocks and sticks outdoors.  A CONSTANT surveillance is required.  It is exhausting.

I was in awe to think that Callie is the same age as Jessi was when Cheryl first built her cabin and we began our yearly treks to visit and now Jessi is 18 and has grown to be a beautiful responsible young woman.  Oh how quickly the years pass.

 Now with that background of why I feel inclined to write this I will get to the point of this blog!  I remember going to my mom when I had 4 small children under the age of 8 and asking her why she didn't tell me it was so hard to be a mother.  My wise mother quickly responded;  "Because then you wouldn't of done it"  My mom was a wonderful mother, but she just said things like they were.  She didn't sugar coat it at all, but with that comment she made me realize she was probably right.  If I would of known the sleep I would miss, the activities I would forgo, the monotony of feeding, cleaning, diapering, and trying to console screaming children maybe I wouldn't of done it.  BUT knowing now what I know I am so thankful I did sacrifice all that I did for those four children and then even one more.  I'm glad my mom didn't warn me and I know she didn't because she would never want me to miss out on the joys, happiness, smiles, and love that these wonderful children can bring.

I remember thinking I would never see light at the end of the tunnel again.  I recall feeling I would never be feminine again because there was always spit up, dirt or some gross item down the front of my shirt.  There were years that my food was never warm to eat after I had served, cut and helped the little ones with their meal.  This sounds stupid, but I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was lounge by the side of the swimming pool and read a book instead of being in the water with my kids so they wouldn't drown.  Now, how thankful I am for small grandkids so I can get in the pool and play and not look ridiculous as a grandma splashing around in the water alone.

My thoughts to you are this.  Your children will grow up.  They will become self sufficient and it will happen faster that you ever can imagine.  There is life at the end of the tunnel and how you will regret wishing these moments away.  Many of your concerns now are whether your children are eating their vegetables or are their hands and face dirty or if they choose clothes that don't match or aren't stylish.  Soon, too soon,  your concerns will be whether they are taking harmful substances into their bodies, are their spirits being covered with dirt and smut, and are the clothes they are choosing to wear immodest and and not representative of a Child of God.

Enjoy each moment and cherish each day.  Love these little ones and protect their innocence and vulnerability.  I remember being so frustrated that I know I said things that hurt my children's  little spirits and I do so regret it.  I was a tough mom and didn't want my kids to be wimps or throw temper tantrums.  I didn't allow it.  Now as I watch children act out I realize that they are frustrated and they have thoughts and desires that need to be expressed and recognized.  Go to them and talk to them and see what is bothering them.

Support each other as parents.  Children need both of you and they need you to love each other.  They don't understand when you argue so DO NOT under any circumstances have a fight in front of them.  Wait until they have gone to bed or are away playing before you discuss your disagreements.  If one of you disciplines or sets conditions and you disagree have enough respect for each other to uphold it and decide later what your course will be the next time the issue comes up.

Sing to them, dance with them, and play in the rain.  Let them be kids and be dirty and messy.  These small little ones have so much to teach us.  Snuggle with them, read and read and read to them.  Fill their minds with good thoughts and ideas.  Your time will come to do what you want, but now is the time to be with your children.  Life is not easy, but then that is not the plan.  Life isn't supposed to be easy.  We don't grow when life is all fun and games.  Elder Packer (Go here to read article) was right when he told us that we learn more about what is important from our children than they will ever learn from us.  It took me lots of years to understand that.  Be smarter than I was.  Be more patient, be more willing to listen, and definitely be more compassionate.  I do know that whatever time and love you invest in your children you will receive a hundredfold more in return.  They will love you and cherish you unconditionally!!  That is their gift.