Get Off the Railroad Tracks!!

Last Sunday during Relief Society the lesson was about staying on the Lord's Side.  The instructor had asked how we can help our children stay on the Lord's side.  One of the sister's in the room made the comment about a railroad track and if we saw one of our children playing on it we would ask them to get off.  It wouldn't be a choice, we should demand it and then they would do it.  Unfortunately this was made at a time that I was already on edge about being in that ward and the comment pushed me right over the edge.  I so wanted to raise my hand and comment on it, but I truly didn't want to offend her and I knew I would either start to raise my voice or cry or someway embarrass her and myself if I said something so I remained silent.  I'm sure when I was a mother of three young children I most likely thought the same way she did.
Needing to express my concerns about this comment, which I'm sure seemed totally benign to most people in the class I will write my comment here.
Unfortunately we are raising our families "Behind Enemy Lines" and some children have a desire to remain on the railroad tracks even though they recognize the danger of being there.  They can be threatened, physically removed,  punished, reasoned with and bribed, but they will continually return to the track and hold on tighter no matter what a parent or anyone else does.  If it were only as easy as insisting that they move off the track.
In our premortal life we fought hard for the gift of agency and sometimes as a parent I find myself hating it.  What were we thinking?  Knowing that the Lord won't take away our agency we sometimes have to resign ourselves as parents that our children have their right to agency, as difficult as that is.  It has never been described as "free agency" in the scriptures or by any of our modern day prophets.  It is not free and it's not ours to give or take away.  There are always consequences attached to the choices someone makes and unfortunately there are those who learn most from natural consequences as painful as they might be.
All of my study, counseling and prayer that I have participated in during the past few years has led me to one certain conclusion.  The best way to help our children stay on the Lord's side is to make sure that we ourselves are firmly planted there.  Example is a greater tool than all the teaching we can do.  I'm definately not saying that teaching isn't important, I know that children need to be taught and reminded daily of what is right.  I do know from experience that they are watching to see if we have daily family prayer, scripture reading and FHE.  If it is not a priority for us to do these things and to attend all of our church meetings and temple then it won't be a priority for them.
I do hope this dear sister's three boys always stay true to the gospel because the the heartbreak is almost unbearable when they choose to stray.  I do know that the answers aren't as easy and as clear cut as she believes them to be.  We, as I know many families have experienced, have our prodigal.  We love him dearly and pray daily for him, but the choice is now his.  We have taught him and warned him about the dangers of the railroad track to which he continually clings.   We have done all in our power to remove him, so now I will pray diligently for him and strive to be the greatest example of happiness so that he might realize that it is living the gospel principles that will make him happier than any other choice he can make.  I want him to have no doubt that I stand on the Lord's side.  The Lord and I both love him and always will.
I cherish a quote I read recently from Elder Boyd K Packer.  It gives me hope when a careless comment from others pierce my very soul.

It is a great challenge to raise a family in the darkening mists of our moral environment.

We emphasize that the greatest work you will do will be within the walls of your home (see Harold B. Lee, Ensign, July 1973, p. 98), and that “no other success can compensate for failure in the home” (David O. McKay,Improvement Era, June 1964, p. 445).

The measure of our success as parents, however, will not rest solely on how our children turn out. That judgment would be just only if we could raise our families in a perfectly moral environment, and that now is not possible.

It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters. They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should

The rest of the article is great reading also.