Hate the Sin But Love the Sinner

I have spent days pondering that thought.  Hate the sin but love the sinner.  Sometimes I know I need to blog about something but it takes some time to ponder and pray about it before I can do it.  This is one of those.  Interestingly what brought me to this was something I read a few days ago and when I decided to write about this I went back to reread the quote and I can't find it.  I feel like I have read everything again that I read last week but I can't find it anywhere.  I've about decided that the Lord just had it appear in my mind I as I was studying because I needed to hear it again.  The premise of the quote is that you can never force any one to change no matter what you do or say, the only way that we will see change in people is to love them into changing.  I know this, I have heard it said in many different ways for years, but sometimes I forget it and my actions don't portray that.  I get so caught up it fear, hurt and disappointment  that I become abrasive in my words and actions.  These wayward people are good wonderful children of God.  They have just lost their way for a time.  I believe there is so much self loathing on their part that we do not need to add to that in any way.  Sometimes we try to portray the sin as despicable and what we end up portraying is that they are despicable and that is so far from the truth.  Love will always be the more excellent way to help them.  Love has the power to produce miracles.  We should never underestimate the healing power of a warm smile or kind expression.  At times I've thought if I am too warm and loving is that showing I condone their behavior.  I've come to the conclusion that No, it does not.  There still needs to be natural consequences of choices but love should never be diminished. Those who are making poor choices, going against values that have been taught to them know very well that they are not living the way they should.  They don't need to be reminded constantly of things they are doing or not doing.  They are completely aware of their actions.
  Another way of thinking about these loved ones who are causing anguish in our lives is to remember that the purpose of their behavior may be to help us perfect love in ourselves not to perfect them.  We probably need them as much as they need us.  That knowledge is sometimes difficult to process, but I believe it to be true.  I know I'm a much better compassionate understanding person because of what I have been through.  Unfortunately I still have so much more to learn.