A Gift From My Mom

Our youngest daughter Jessi continually asks me when I am going to blog about her. She often refers to herself as the "favorite child". I can honestly say that she is one of the top five of my favorite children!! (Mother's don't have favorites) So Jessi, this blog is for you.
Twenty years ago this past July my mother passed away. We had four children, three sons and a daughter, and we were so comfortable knowing our family was complete. Not long after mom's passing I kept having the distinct impression that my mother had a baby for me. I felt I was through having children, freedom from having a child at home during the day was so close, and so I ignored the thought for quite some time. I do recall asking my sister that IF mom had a baby for me she would certainly send a girl wouldn't she? The impressions would not stop and so with great reluctance I finally consented to have another baby. We had no maternity insurance because being self employed our insurance was questionable anyway and the waiting period they required was so long that I couldn't wait since I was already 36. We had donated all of our baby items to others so we had nothing. I felt like a young college student having a baby once again.
Yes my mom did have a little girl saved for me and yes it was Jessi! How grateful I have been everyday since then that I listened and followed those promptings. She has been my Balm of Gilead through many years and trials. When life would feel so out of control with the many incredibly poor decisions that Kevin was making and I felt like I wanted to runaway and leave everything behind, I would think-- wait I can't runaway I have Jessi I need to stay and be responsible. She would pull me back to reality and cheer me as I would realize I wanted to be a good mom for her. The thought has occurred to me that my Heavenly Father and my own mother knew 20 years ago that I would need Jessi's love and support now as I went through these trials so they planned a reason for me to stay strong. Jessi and I have spent so much time together. Jeff spends so much time with being Bishop of the singles ward that it is just she and I so much of the time. When I have wanted to travel it was easier to take Jess with me than to find someone to care for her, so we have traveled together extensively. She has seen the pain we have suffered with Kevin and has become strong in her testimony and desire to choose the right. She is outgoing and friendly to all, a beautiful breath of fresh air. Today I am thankful for Jessi and also I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who knows all and prepares a way for us to meet the challenges that we face.